SO HERES THE DEAL: five people like me. twenty, thirty, fourty five could, would. do they? I DONT CARE. because the thing is they are trying to buy me drinks and flowers and hold me and ALL I WANT IS YOU. i dont care about the monsters you see in the night or the voices in your head. let me be another one of them. drunken nights when you were trying to help me onto the roof of the house. all feelings are always tiptoeing around the time i was too drunk to get out the door, your silhouette looming over me in the bed. “your heart is beating really fast.” (yeah, my soul is humming pretty well, too. come alive after all these years. still a bit rusty.) too proud to kiss you at that moment but i did it later anyway. “if i cheat, i become just like everyone i hate.” “i already am.” everything about you pulls at the strings of my soul. i swear i knew you before, but you were wearing a different skin. your hair was darker, too. you spoke in an accent and i swear i didn’t leave your side. drunken tequila phone calls blurring up my vision. got all these silly songs spinning in my head. (like when i was on vicodin and looked up at the stars and spun barefoot in the grass.) of sunshine and birds and pay phones. but the only one that stands out is this: i love you.
i cannot even trust my heart anymore.
– lionswithteeth
